Tag Archives: TWINS

Oh What a Year

05 Wednesday Feb 2014

Posted by in TWINS

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Oh what a year it has been. An amazing life-changing year. Since I have not done a very good job keeping my blog updated, here is a year in review.

Feb 1, 2013- The phone rings in my hospital room, it is my doctor. After further review, she and the high risk doctors agreed that although I past my morning tests {barely}, they didn’t think I would make it through the weekend… Super Bowl weekend; a weekend many take off or call in. She wasn’t willing to risk an emergency situation with a skeleton crew. So, we welcomed Landon and Nolan into the world at 3:37 and 3:39pm. I had made it 30 weeks and 5 days.

It was right around midnight when I finally got to go to the NICU and see my boys. I was on a lot of medication, so it is bit of a blur. They were so tiny with lots of tubes and wires. I found out their official weights; Landon 3lbs and Nolan 2 lbs 8 ounces.

Feb 3rd – We finally got to see Landon’s face. The CPAP and jaundice mask had covered all but his chin.

First time seeing Landon's face.

First time seeing Landon’s face.

Feb 5th- Landon rolled over for the first time. Preemies total body weight vs. muscle allows them to do things other babies won’t do for months.
Feb 9th – After 8 long days, I finally got to hold Landon for the first time.

First time holding Landon

First time holding Landon

Feb 10th – Chris got to hold Nolan for the first time.

Chris Holding Nolan

Chris Holding Nolan

Feb 11th- I got to hold Nolan for the first time. Only one of us can hold each baby for 30 minutes to an hour, and then they have to go back into the incubator. Also, Chris held Landon for the first time.

First time I held Nolan

First time I held Nolan

Feb 12th – The first VERY SCARY day in the NICU. We had just been warned the “honeymoon phase” was ending and risk of infection was setting in. Nolan had NEC (necrotizing enterocolitis). It was a very serious infection that ‘kills’ the small intestine. It can require surgery, and in severe cases it can be fatal. They were treating him with high doses of antibiotics and suctioning everything out of his stomach. He looked Grey we knew it was not good, but the NICU felt they were ahead of the infection.

NEC

NEC

Feb 13th- Nolan was working to hard to breath, so he got put on a ventilator and also got a PIC line put in his scalp. (this was also Nolan’s first haircut since they had to shave his pretty blonde hair) Much of the day was spent debating about moving him to Children’s Hospit al of Atlanta. The doctors still felt they were ahead of it, so for now he stayed.
Feb 18th- Nolan came off of the ventilator and Landon came off of oxygen support for 5 hours.
Feb 19th – We finally started to work on the nursery. Better late than never.
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Feb 22nd- Nolan got to eat again for the first time since his infection began.
March 9th- The boys became roommates once again. They had been living in incubators in individual rooms and are now large enough and healthy enough to share a room. This was also the first time I got to hold both of my babies at the same time.

First time holding both babies at the same time.

First time holding both babies at the same time.

March 18th- The boys first tornado warning. The NICU had to move all the babies to a more secure location.
March 20th- Landon got to come home! While this was great news it was also a new challenge, Landon could not come back to the NICU to visit his brother. One baby home, one baby in the hospital. Never have I wanted to clone myself so badly.
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March 22nd- Nolan removed his own feeding tube (not the first time, but this time it stayed out).
March 23rd- Nolan was removed from Oxygen support
March 26th- To everyone’s surprise Nolan came home. We had expected him to be weeks behind his brother, and I am not going to pretend like I was not apprehensive about him coming home so soon after coming off of oxygen.
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Life at home as a family was so much easier, although I quickly realized it was almost impossible to get anywhere on time. I mostly kept the boys in a bubble not taking them out in public except for doctor appointments. And, there were plenty of doctor appointments. I had interviewed several doctors to try and find the one that was the right fit for our family. The first pediatrician we saw was not going to work out. After a lecture from him about Nolan being small and not gaining weight after leaving the NICU and him telling me I could not breastfeed he had to be on formula, I knew it was time to find someone else. He wanted to do weight checks every other day and when I refused to schedule a follow up appointment, the front desk girl read between the lines. She offered to schedule us with another doctor in the practice, the one her daughter sees. I reluctantly agreed.

Two days later we met Dr. Smiley. She walked into the room with a page of notes and the complete NICU files she had ordered. I noticed they were highlighted and notes were written on them. I immediately felt like the right decision had been made.

Mid May we held a “Home Coming party” for the boys. Until this point very few people had met them. We didn’t allow friends to come to the NICU (for the most part), so this was a great way to introduce them to everyone at once. I was surprised how many people were reluctant to hold the boys because they were still so small. Nolan was not even 6 lbs and Landon was just under 8 lbs. I understand they were little, but they were so big to me.

May 14th I was at my OB’s office following up on some post partum complications {did you know you can have a post partum hemorrhage 10 weeks after giving birth?} My doctor had been holding Nolan and feeding him while we talked. She handed him back to me and was about to leave the room when he spit up. I was very accustomed to his spit ups so while I did think they were excessive, I was not alarmed; embarrassed since it covered my doctor, the wall, and the floor, but not alarmed. My doctor on the other hand was very alarmed. She stated while she was not a pediatrician, she would have him evaluated. Spit ups should not projectile 5 feet across a room. Taking her advice, I called the pediatrician. She said she would take my OB’s word for it being abnormal and asked me to take him to Children’s Healthcare of Atlanta. She was going to call ahead and let them know we were coming… Our first trip to the hospital.
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The ER doc thought we were likely dealing with Pyloric Stenosis. It is where the sphincter at the bottom of the stomach doesn’t drain properly. If that was the diagnosis we would be looking at surgery to correct it. Lots of tests, and one long night in the ER later, we found out it was in fact just really bad reflux. I was relieved that he wouldn’t need surgery, but annoyed when the doctor told me it was more of a laundry problem than a medical problem.

May 28th Nolan’s reflux had been getting worse, every now and again he would get choked on it. About an hour after his 9 PM bottle, he began spitting up. Typically we would have put him in his crib, but this night he fell asleep in his swing down stairs and since he would still eat a midnight bottle we let him stay put. I grabbed a cloth to go clean him up and realized he was not only choking he was turning blue. I grabbed him turned him over and shoved my fingers down his throat to check his air way. Chris grabbed the bulb syringe and began to suction his throat. Moments later he got his color back, but was extremely pale. We debated a return trip to CHOA (Children’s Healthcare of Atlanta) but decided just to watch him all night instead. The next morning we called the doctor and I can’t say I was surprised when she asked us to head back to the hospital. This time he would be admitted for a life threatening event.

We spent 3 days at CHOA and during that time they must have run every test under the sun. The diagnosis…. Reflux! This time they felt it was a bit more than a laundry problem and sent us home on monitors. I had hoped we were done with wires when we left the NICU, but they did give me some peace of mind.

My days were filled with so many doctors that at times it was hard to keep them all straight.
• Pediatric Cardiologist – Nolan had a heart murmur which eventually closed on its own.
• Pediatric Brain surgeon- Both boys had a grade 1 brain hemorrhage at birth; it sounds scary but is fairly normal for preemies. During a brain scan to be sure the hemorrhage resolved they discovered Landon had a cyst on his brain. It was basically declared a freckle, nothing to lose sleep over.
• Pediatric General surgeon- In the NICU Nolan had a hernia. It was reduced and has since been a non-issue. No point operating on a non-issue.
• GI Specialist – Reflux!!!
• Pulmonologist – Nolan was diagnosed with chronic lung disease. He doesn’t use his whole lung capacity, draws hard, and has a high respiratory rate. Nolan gets monthly synergist shots that will protect him from RSV. The shots (one in each leg) are live antibodies. They also follow Landon due to being a preemie.
• Pediatric Ophthalmologist- Landon had tear ducts that never opened. He will be having a minor surgery to correct that soon. Nolan has perfect vision.
• Occupational Therapist- Due to being so preemie they both have had some expected developmental delays. The Therapist comes once a month to work with them on achieving milestones.

July 9th – Landon made it on the growth chart for weight at 13lbs and 3.5 oz and the 4th percentile. Nolan made to double digits.
July 12th – Both boys slept through the night
July 26th – Mommy’s first business trip since they were born; 4 nights away from my babies. Did I mention I was still nursing? Explaining frozen breast milk to TSA agents at the airport security was… um…interesting. (I will write a blog post about this at some point.)
Sept. 14th- Landon would sit all by himself
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Sept. 26th Nolan will not let Landon get too far ahead, so he started sitting up by himself too.
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Oct. 17th – We had a first word and it was MAMMA from Nolan!!!!
Oct. 29th – The boys first cold. It started with Landon, he gave it to Nolan, then Daddy, then Mommy, and then it circled a second time.
Early Nov. – We started introducing solid food. (And, Nolan started vomiting a lot) Also, Landon started to crawl!
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Mid to late Nov. – Nolan gets diagnosed with a wheat allergy. I am very thankful for the Gluten free trend. It gives us some options but is still hard at times to figure out what to feed them. Also, Nolan started to crawl.

Nov. 26th- Landon was not feeling well, he was fussy, sleepy and running a fever. I had strep the week before so I was sure he must have caught it. We head to the doctor only to find out he does have strep, and scarlet fever, and an ear infection complete with a ruptured ear drum. My poor baby!
Dec 1st- The boys see Santa and there were no tears!
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Dec 24th/25th- The boys first Christmas was so much fun! They liked the bows and tissue paper the best.
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Before I knew it, I was planning their first birthday. They were my super babies so they had to have a superhero party. The whole year went by so fast. They have filled our home with laughter and smiles. When they were only a few pounds, I wanted them to get bigger; now they are growing up too fast.
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NEC

18 Sunday Aug 2013

Posted by in NICU, TWINS

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We were settling into life with babies in the NICU. Chris had taken a week off of work after the babies were born to spend time with them and also to help me. As it turns out a c-section is a bigger recovery than I had anticipated. I am not sure why I didn’t think it would be a big deal; after all it is a major surgery. Even recovering, I spent most of my time in the NICU minus the one day I was running a mild fever. If you want to torture a new mother, first tell her she can’t hold her babies, and then tell her she can’t see them for 24 hours.

First time holding Landon

First time holding Landon

Day 8 will go down as one of the best days of my life. It was the first time I was able to hold one of my babies, Landon. Eight long days had passed of only being able to look at them and reach in a small hole in the incubator and gently touch them. Eight days of hearing them cry and being unable to comfort them. On day eight we were able to start Kangaroo care.

Once a day, for one hour, Chris or I could hold a diaper clad baby against our bare chest. Kangaroo care allowed for bonding time, but also had many other benefits. For me, it helped my milk production. For the babies it helped them regulate body temperature, heart rate and respiratory rates. It allowed us to get to know one another in a way not possible with them confined to the incubator.

Chris Holding Nolan

Chris Holding Nolan

On day 9 Chris got to hold Nolan for the first time. As much as I wanted to hold him, I had to allow dad his time too. So it was day 10 that I was able to hold Nolan for the first time. There are no words to describe the feeling. The babies were so small it was intimidating for a split second, but that feeling was quickly overcome with so much joy.

First time I held Nolan

First time I held Nolan

We had developed our schedule. Chris would go to the NICU in the morning and visit with the boys, I would come around lunch time and Chris would meet me there after work. The doctors would do their rounds between 9 and 10 am. Chris would wait to head to work until after the morning updates. On day 11, I didn’t get my normal update phone call from Chris. I assumed rounds were taking longer, maybe they got a new baby in the NICU, maybe Chris got caught in conversation. It never crossed my mind that something might be wrong. I don’t know why, after all, just the weekend before we had met with the doctor and he advised that the “honeymoon phase” was ending and they boys were at high risk of infection. He advised we not have lots of visitors for awhile and take extra precautions. Even with that conversation fresh on my mind, I couldn’t fathom one of the babies getting sick. But, I heard it in Chris’ voice when I called to see how the babies were doing.

His voice was somber, he barely sounded like my husband. He told me Nolan was not doing well. He had an infection called NEC or . I had heard of this. This infection was one reason they were so firm about the boys getting breast milk rather than formula. Chris said they were running lots of tests and starting antibiotics, we would know more later in the day, but they felt they were ahead of it. I jumped online to read everything I could about the condition; It is a gastrointestinal disease….typically effecting preemies in the first 2 weeks of life…may require surgery… survival rates of 70-80%. That mean20-30% don’t survive.

I couldn’t bear the thought of losing another baby. I prayed like I have never prayed before as I drove to the hospital. As I entered the NICU there was a lot of activity all centered around Nolan. Chris was sitting in his room, trying to be present yet out of the way. The PA addressed me as soon as I arrived. She told me they felt they were still ahead of it, they had just run another blood gas and done another series of x-rays. They were monitoring him closely. They were not yet sure if he would stay in the NICU there or get transferred to Children’s. They felt he was starting to work harder than he needed to on breathing and warned us not to be surprised if they ventilated him. They wanted all his strength going towards beating the infection. The crowd had cleared out of Nolan’s room and for the first time that day I got a good look at him. He looked sick. His skin was a grayish hue that hope to never see again.

I soon learned that it was Nolan’s night nurse that first suspected something was off. She had cared for Nolan every night she had worked since he was born. She knew his coloring and his activity level; she knew all things normal to Nolan. And, she knew when things weren’t normal. I give her a lot of credit; we may not have ‘gotten ahead of the infection’ had it not been for her. I always preferred when the boys had the regular nurses. They would occasionally have on call or traveling nurses in the NICU. Some of them I liked, some of them I didn’t. Go figure today Nolan would have one of the on call nurses that I didn’t care for. I felt she would say things to Chris and I trying to invoke an emotional response. We were both in survival mode, collecting information, staying strong and focused; we could be emotional later.

Just when I had had about enough of the nurse, my favorite day nurse stopped by to check in on Nolan. She placed her hand on my back and told me she has stood in my shoes. Her daughter had NEC and her twins ended up in different hospitals. It doesn’t make things easier, but then again none of this is easy. If we end up with two babies in two different hospitals 35 miles apart, it is just another challenge that we will be able to overcome. That was the message I needed to hear.

We spent the rest of the day and ½ of the night sitting with Nolan. They had stopped feeding him, in fact they were suctioning all stomach excretions out of him. So, all we were able to do was a quick diaper change every few hours. Before we finally left for the night they made sure they had both of our phone numbers on the top of the chart. They also wanted to know where we lived and how quickly we could get back to the hospital if need be. It was a very unsettling feeling leaving the hospital.

NEC

NEC

We had planned to return first thing in the morning, but before we could get out of the house we got a call from the NICU. They had put Nolan on a ventilator overnight and also added another PIC line through his scalp. They just wanted to call and tell us because it can be shocking and a scary sight if you were not anticipating it. They also had to shave a small part of his head, but saved me his pretty blonde hair. His first hair cut.
Luckily he never got any worse, the NICU staff had caught it early and the medication worked. He got to stay in the same hospital as his brother, and he wasn’t going to require any surgery.

My heart still breaks to think about him on the ventilator. Imagine a baby trying to cry, but no sound comes out. You can tell they are in pain and you can’t do anything to comfort them. They mostly kept him sedated. Four days and one partially collapsed lung later, he was taken off the ventilator, but it would be another 6 day before he could try to eat again.

Landon’s first trick

17 Saturday Aug 2013

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*I am still so far behind on my blog. I will try to get caught up soon*

A few days old

A few days old


There is something fascinating about preemies. Their muscle mass to overall body mass ratio allows preemies to do things most newborns would not do for months. Both boys were very active. They would wiggle and worm their way around the incubator. We joked any minute they would get up and walk on out. Landon liked to lie on his back, arms up above his head, legs propped up on the ‘nest’ the nurses made to try to contain him. Every 3 hours after a diaper change, temperature check and feeding, he would get repositioned. Back to sleep rules don’t apply in the NICU.

When Landon was 4 days old, Chris and I were sitting in his room. We spend most of our days moving back and forth between rooms watching our babies in their boxes aka incubators. Chris had begun to refer to them as his little turtles in a terrarium. We had not been able to hold the boys; we could simply sit and watch and wait.

Landon decided since we were watching he would put on show. He was in a prone position and we watched as he stuck his butt up in the air; think downward facing dog yoga pose. We were joking with the nurse that he really didn’t seem to want to be on his tummy when before our very eyes he rolled over. He managed to put all his weight on one leg and flipped and flopped on over. Once on his back he assumed his favorite position and fell right to sleep. I, for one, could not believe my eyes.

In the days to come, we were often told how active our babies were. This was good news. Active babies equal strong babies. They had a lot of fight in them. Their activity level helped to reassure us they were going to be okay.

The Boys Birth Story (Part 2)

19 Friday Jul 2013

Posted by in NICU, RAINBOW BABY, TWINS, Uncategorized

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It's time!

It’s time!


It is amazing how quickly everything happened once they decided Feb. 1st would be the boys’ birthday. My call with Chris was not very long. The whole conversation consisted of “Just got off the phone with Dr. K and I am having the babies today.” And, just like that he was in route to the hospital. By the time I hung up, I had 2 nurses in my room. A hospital gown, hair net and socks were laid out on the foot of the bed, and they were gathering supplies to put an IV in my arm. For a few minutes everything felt very rushed. I hadn’t really had time to digest the news. When you go into labor you have hours not minutes before the babies arrive.

Chris made it to the hospital in record time and we called our parents to let them know. I could tell Chris was nervous and honestly so was I. I was, after all, only 30 weeks and few days along. But, I also had a strange fleeting moment of feeling nostalgic. This would be the last day I would EVER be pregnant. This was the last time the boys would be 100% dependant on me and only me to provide for them. As hard as my pregnancy was, a big part of me enjoyed my pregnancy.

Soon my doctor arrived in my room. She reassured both Chris and I that at the boy’s gestational age they would do just fine. She was excited because I had made it so much longer than she originally thought and because we were all about to meet the little guys. She was dressed like she was heading out to dinner not to an operating room, so she gave us both a hug and went to change clothes and get scrubbed in.

As soon as she left, the nurses were back in my room. They grabbed the cord blood collection kit to be sure it wasn’t forgotten about in all the excitement. They gave Chris coveralls, shoe covers and a hairnet and explained they were going to take me down now and they would be back soon for him. He couldn’t be in the room while I got my spinal, but would be there in plenty of time for the birth.
As I entered the operating room, it was cold, brightly lit and, it was bustling; lots of people making sure everything was ready and in place. I was expecting a lot of people, but thre must have been 20 people in the room. Seeing so many in and out of the delivery room made me nervous and reassured at the same time.

This was it, it wouldn’t be long now.

They had me sit on a hard table. The nurse anesthetist introduced himself and told me he would be right by my side the whole time. He was very calm and reassuring in the mist of all the chaos. The anesthesiologist came over and introduced herself and told me it was time to get started. She told me I would feel pressure in my back. She was right, that was a good way to describe it. I took one final look around the room before lying back on the table. There were 2 incubators now fully surrounded by doctors and nurses. All the surgical tools were spread out on a table. There were still many other nurses and respiratory specialists walking about the room. I laid back and they hung the curtain; for a brief moment I panicked. The curtain was so close to my face and I am claustrophobic. The nurse anesthetist, seeming inside my head, noticed and before I could react asked that they reposition it. I looked to my left as they were walking Chris into the room.

Before they begin they test the spinal. They rubbed a cold wet cloth on my arm. Then they rubbed the same cloth on my stomach. I feel the pressure but not the cold or wet. I took a deep breath and tried to relax, but in my head I knew there were so many unknowns.

Soon, I felt an odd sensation, it didn’t hurt, but I felt it. I could feel myself laying so still, intently listening to everything, waiting for some indication that the babies were okay. I began to get nauseous and immediately was given something to remedy that. I was also given something to make me relax. I heard the doctor say the amniotic fluid was clear. I assumed that was a good thing. She asked Chris if he was ready to stand up and take a look.

I watched him as he stood up, he just stared. “Take a picture”, I told him. He raised the camera and snapped away as I heard the doctor say he is out and he is a good size. Chris began looking a little pale so the nurse anesthetist advised he sit back down. I realized I was holding my breath. I had not yet heard the baby cry. Then I heard it, it was soft and distant, but still music to my ears and for a moment I could breathe.

Before the doctor moved on to baby B, she collected Landon’s cord blood and cord tissues. She didn’t think she was going to be able to get enough cord blood, but collected all she could. Viacord could let us know for sure, but these are preemies with cord blood flow issues.

Soon we were on to Baby B, my problem child, the reason we were in the delivery room. But, baby B, aka Nolan, was also my feisty baby. Again, I felt myself holding my breath as she confirmed the fluid was clear and there was plenty of it. Chris stood once again and snapped a few pictures. I heard the doctor say, “he is smaller, but not as much as I worried he would be.” Nolan didn’t make me wait as long to hear his cry. His was a bit louder as if he knew I needed reassured that was going to be okay.

Before I knew it, Landon had been taken down to the NICU, I never even got to see him. Chris was giving me a play by play of what he could see. I knew he needed to be in NICU quickly, but was sad I didn’t get to see him first. The nurse anesthetist was going to be sure that didn’t happen again. “Hey guys, over here, mom did a lot of work, she should get to see the baby,” he said as they were getting ready to head out with Nolan. They rolled his incubator over by me and one of the nurses lifted him up so I could see him. He was crying. All I could really see was a big mouth on a very small baby.

With a normal pregnancy and normal c-section the doctor would hold the baby up, get it slightly cleaned off and passed immediately to mom or dad. When they are tiny there is no holding them up and once they go to the NICU, hours pass before mom can visit. After all, the spinal has to wear off before you can feel you legs, and then they won’t let you sit up for another couple of hours. The nurses told me it was common for women not to head to the NICU for 12-18 hours after delivery.

I had never really thought about it until a couple of weeks before the babies were born. A friend of mine told me about her experience with a c-section and her babies going straight to the NICU. The whole way through my pregnancy I had known exactly what to expect, but this little detail caught me off guard. I was crushed at the idea of others seeing my babies before me. I did all the work.

When we got back to my hospital room, my parents were waiting for me. They wanted to make sure I did okay in surgery and my mom began helping pack up the room. It is amazing how much you can accumulate in a short time. My doctor stopped by and told me she went to the NICU before coming to see me to make sure all was well. “They are doing really good and they are bigger than I thought” she told us. Landon was the bigger baby around 3 lbs and Nolan was closer to 2 ½ lbs. She also told the nurses to keep me in my room, the room that had become home atleast until the following day. Standard procedure would be to move me within a few hours to the mom and baby ward. After my doctor left, so did my parents; they all agreed I should try and get some rest.

About an hour or two later my mother-in-law came to visit. By this time, the spinal was wearing off and I was beginning to feel my legs again. Before, I was in too much pain the nurse brought a pain pump in and I discovered morphine really makes me itch. To counter the itchiness, I was given Benadryl. To say I was out of it would be a huge understatement, pain meds and benadryl! My mother in law left for a little while to pick up some dinner for her and Chris, I was so tired and nauseas there was zero chance of me eating anything. Even though I wasn’t eating I do wish they had picked something other than shrimp fajitas, the smell and the nausea didn’t mix well. While they were eating my older brother stopped by the hospital to visit. It was a nice distraction from the nausea.

One of the nurses stopped in as she was leaving for the night to let me know she had stopped by the NICU and the boys were doing well. During the conversation, she realized Chris had yet to go to the NICU. He had stayed with me so we could visit them together for the first time. The nurse offered to take him down there and my brother and mother in law asked if they could join. I reluctantly said yes. I am not sure if it was because I was just so tired or not feeling well, but I didn’t stand my ground. I would now be the fourth person in the family to see my babies. I thought it would be a quick visit, but it was not. Over an hour past, then 30 minutes more; I laid in my bed and began to cry, mostly out of jealousy that I couldn’t be down there too.

When everyone got back in my room after the visit to the NICU they were talking about how little but handsome the boys were. I heard about how much hair they had and before anyone could say another word, I snapped. “I don’t want to hear about it, I don’t want anyone telling me about my babies, I just want to see them.” By this time it was after midnight, so my brother and mother in law headed home. The night nurse recommended I get some sleep, but I was not going to sleep until I saw my boys. So, nine hours after I delivered them, the nurses loaded me into a wheelchair and we headed for the NICU.

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The boys were in 2 separate rooms; really the rooms were more of open divided bays. Both were in their Giraffe incubators, each with their very own nurse. We headed to Landon’s room first. They lowered the incubator as far as it would go. It was hard to see what he looked liked, but one thing was for sure, he was tiny. I needed a better look, so I attempted to stand up. As soon as I stood up, I began to shake and got very light-headed. The NICU nurse recommended I sit back down; after all, she works on babies less than 5 lbs not adults. I took her recommendation and slowly sat back down, but first I studied every detail of Landon. I couldn’t see his face because of the CPAP machine helping him breath. He was so little and thin that he didn’t even fill out his skin, but at the same time, he was perfect. He did have a lot of hair considering he was born about 10 weeks early.

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Next we headed over to Nolan’s room. Once again, I needed a better look. I stood up, but only for a minute. I only thought Landon was small, until I saw Nolan. Nolan put small into a whole new perspective. His face was also hidden behind the CPAP machine, and he also had a surprising amount of very blond hair.

It was surreal seeing my babies for the first time. Even without seeing their face, they were the most beautiful sight, wires and all. My night was complete. Our family had grown by two. I could now get some rest.

Landon

Landon

Nolan

Nolan

The Boys Birth Story (Part One)

20 Thursday Jun 2013

Posted by in Pregnancy, RAINBOW BABY

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** I have been a bad blogger lately.  I had intended to blog often while on hospital bed rest, but writing on the iPAD without a real keyboard was frustrating.  Then the boys arrived and…well…I have been a bit busy.  So, almost 5 months later, I thought it is about time to share the boy’s birth story.

~

My hospital room

My hospital room

Chris and I had celebrated both Christmas and New Years from my hospital room and a few fairly uneventful weeks had past.  I had reached the 28 week mark.  This milestone I felt to be a rather large accomplishment (major developmental issues decease at 28 weeks) and I wanted it celebrated.  Chris had picked up some tulips (my favorite flower) and a cookie cake.  The cake read Happy 28 weeks!  Of course, Chris had to explain what happy 28 weeks meant to the cake decorator; apparently it was a first for her.

An ultrasound tech I didn’t know showed up to do my daily scan a few days later.  Up to this point, I had seen the same handful of techs every day.  I had become really good at looking at the scan and knowing what I was seeing.  I could tell if the diastolic blood flow was normal, intermittently absent, or completely absent.  I didn’t notice anything out of the ordinary on the scan.  Later that day, I was told the scan showed some intermittent reversal, (see Absent End Diastolic Blood Flow for an explanation) and that I would be NPO after midnight.  NPO basically means no food or drink.  They would come the following morning and rescan me and see what the scan shows.  If it is better, I will stay pregnant; if it is worse they will likely deliver me.  My favorite ultrasound tech came the next morning to do my scan.  She looked over the scan from the day before showing me what they saw as reversal.  She questioned the reversal and said it very easily could have been that I was lying on the cord and in the future to roll towards my side a bit and see if it changes the scan.  It also could have been archiving, a term I eventually heard often, but am still not clear on.  Her scan showed intermittent absence.  About 30 minutes later my doctor called to tell me to eat breakfast, they would not be delivering me that day, she also expressed some question to the validity of the earlier scan.

About a week later, I had another scan that showed reversal, only this time it showed more reversal.  I knew it when I saw it on the monitor.  The tech said she would have to have the doctor interpret the scan to say for sure.  In other words, yes, that is reversal.  This time I was nervous, I thought for sure I would be having the babies.  Finally the specialist came by and told me I would be NPO and they would be checking the scan again in the morning.  Much like last time, the morning scan was good.

The next time I had a scan that showed reversal was the morning of my baby shower.  We knew it was only a matter of time before the babies made their arrival and my wonderful girlfriends felt everyone should get to have a baby shower.  They pulled the whole shower together in less than 5 days. All the doctors, nurses, and techs new my shower was happening that day.  The nurses spent part of the prior day clearing out the perinatal testing room and getting it set up with tables and chairs.  It isn’t often that a baby shower takes place in the labor and delivery unit. After my bad scan, I was worried I might be having my babies that day rather than the baby shower.  After all, this scan was the worst one yet.  My doctor was out of town, so the other doctor from her practice stopped by to check on me.  As soon as she got in the nurses advised her of the bad scan.  She told me, she was going to call my doctor and the specialists so we could plan the day accordingly.  First she spoke to my doctor; since she was traveling and wouldn’t be back in town until that evening; even if they did decide to deliver I could still have my shower.  This got me wondering how often baby showers and birthdays fall on the same day?   Then she spoke to the specialist who said we would follow the same protocol as before, NPO after midnight rescan in the morning.

My doctor was there for the scan the next morning, once again it was good.  I would not be delivering that day.  She and I discussed the frequency of the reversal and my other labs.  For some time we had been debating what would be the thing that would cause delivery. I was inching towards HELLP again or at a minimum Preeclampsia.  My platelets had been steadily declining for weeks and I was getting closer and closer to the 100 line.  When I first got to the hospital my platelets were 235, now they were 129.  I also had higher levels of proteinuria, but so far my blood pressure was steady and liver enzymes were good.  Of course, I had the blood flow issues, so the reversal could potentially cause delivery.  Or, due to the blood flow issues, Baby B (aka Nolan) might stop growing in which case they would deliver me.

Mid week, I had another bad scan followed by a good scan the next day.  This was becoming very routine.

The very next day, I had another bad scan.  The frequency of bad scans was increasing. They again had me NPO and rechecked me Friday morning. That morning I asked them about possibly doing a growth scan.  I wasn’t scheduled for one for another 5 days, but with all the reversal I felt it might be good to move it up.  The tech wouldn’t do the full growth scan early, but did one quick measurement.  She said they don’t seem far off, but Baby B does seem smaller.  Other than that the scan was fine.  Everything seemed normal except my ankles had begun to swell.  Noting major, nothing more than one would expect at almost 31 week; seemingly minor. Yet, I have learned things aren’t always as they seem.  One of the specialists stopped by and advised I would not be delivering that day, but he wanted the nurses to keep a close eye on my blood pressure over the course of the day.  As he was leaving my doctor was walking in the room.  They spoke for a minute and then she came in and told me basically the same thing.  She said don’t be surprised if I have the babies very soon, maybe groundhog day (Saturday), maybe super bowl Sunday.

After my doctor left, I ordered breakfast and logged into my laptop.  My hospital bed had also been my office for the last 7+ weeks.  No point in using up my maternity leave before the babies arrived.   It was a busy Friday, plus thinking the babies might be coming soon, I was trying to wrap up loose ends.  The phone in my hospital room rang. It typically rang at 1:00 pm if I hadn’t called in my lunch order or at 5:30, if I hadn’t called in my dinner order.  Who eats dinner at 5:30?  But it was just after 2:30 and I had already had lunch. My room phone ringing for anything other than meals was not common.  I answered and my doctor was on the line. She said change of plans; you are having the babies today.   This was not at all what I expected when I answered the phone.  Still shocked at this news, I mustered out an okay.  She explained they reviewed everything beginning with the frequency of the reversal, not to mention when they were seeing it, they were seeing more reversal and it was becoming less and less intermittent, my labs were not good, and there is concern Baby B isn’t growing much if at all.  It was becoming the perfect storm.  All the reasons we had speculated they might deliver me, were happening at once. While this was not yet an emergency situation, they were not sure I would make it through the weekend without it becoming an emergency delivery.  Also, she had checked the schedule and was not comfortable with the amount of staff on for the weekend.  With it being super bowl weekend, should anyone call out, it could leave them short staffed and create a dicey situation.   I needed 2 full teams since I was having twins and she realized the “A team” was there that day.  She checked with anesthesia and they had an opening at 3:30.  As she is telling me this, I glance at the clock and realize that is less than an hour away.  She said she would have preferred to spring that news on me in person, but with the short timeline she figured she would call me as she drove to the hospital.

I got off the phone with her and called Chris.  Luckily he answered… (to be continued)

Correction: Baby makes 4 and 5

27 Thursday Sep 2012

Posted by in RAINBOW BABY

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Yup, that’s right.  Its twins!

I am certainly no expert at reading ultrasound results, especially when I was only 5 weeks and 2 days along.  But as I looked at the screen, one thing was becoming more and more clear-there were TWO.  At first I wasn’t so sure, I thought maybe as she changed the angle of the ultrasound that I was seeing the same one and it just gave an appearance of being 2.  As I continued to watch the screen, they both appeared at the same time.  “It looks like 2, is it twins?” I ask the tech.  There are defiantly 2 she responded, and quickly asked if I was on fertility drugs. Nope defiantly not on fertility drugs! She said it is very early; the heartbeats won’t start until next week.  She expected to see me back then, to confirm that they are both developing, but that would be the doctor’s call.

I was shocked and excited, but I knew this was not good news from a medical stand point.   The only thing that could further complicate an already highly complicated pregnancy would be twins.

As I sat in the room waiting on the doctor, the nurse walked in… I see we are having babies!  Yes, I say, but I don’t think this is good thing; not with all the complications I had last time.  She said we will just wait and see what the doctor says.

I continued to wait for the doctor, trying to wrap my head around twins.  I hear a knock on the door followed by a long gasp and “OH wow” and it wasn’t in an excited tone. Got my confirmation, while this was very exciting news, it was not good news.   She walked into the room staring at the ultrasound results.  Well this changes things she said.  Is this worst case scenario I ask, No, but yes she responded; It will make things more challenging than they already would be.  I can no longer make any promises that things will go better this time. Granted a lot can change.  There is a high risk of miscarriage and we don’t know that they will both develop.  I need to see you back next week, and then we will start you with Maternal Fetal (the high risk specialists) as soon as we determined it is a well established pregnancy.

Before we left the room she asked me, “do you have your prenatal vitamins, and Folic Acid remember you need 4 mg, and um… anxiety medicine.”  I can take that pregnant I ask, no, but I may need some she said joking.  As we walked out of the room, the nurse offered her congrats again on the twins.  No, my doctor said almost scolding the nurse.  Realizing she sounded harsh, she quickly changed her tune, okay congrats on being pregnant…we will all get through this together.

As I left the appointment my excitement grew, even in the face of the pending challenges, I was pregnant again and this time there were 2 babies.

I met Chris for lunch.  He had still had no idea of the news I had just learned.  When the moment seemed right I told him… I have good and bad news and it is the same news. He looked at me puzzled.  You know how we decided we would only do this one time, due to the risks even though we really wanted more kids.  Well we are getting more kids, and we only have to do this once.  Its twins!