Monthly Archives: September 2012

Correction: Baby makes 4 and 5

27 Thursday Sep 2012

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Yup, that’s right.  Its twins!

I am certainly no expert at reading ultrasound results, especially when I was only 5 weeks and 2 days along.  But as I looked at the screen, one thing was becoming more and more clear-there were TWO.  At first I wasn’t so sure, I thought maybe as she changed the angle of the ultrasound that I was seeing the same one and it just gave an appearance of being 2.  As I continued to watch the screen, they both appeared at the same time.  “It looks like 2, is it twins?” I ask the tech.  There are defiantly 2 she responded, and quickly asked if I was on fertility drugs. Nope defiantly not on fertility drugs! She said it is very early; the heartbeats won’t start until next week.  She expected to see me back then, to confirm that they are both developing, but that would be the doctor’s call.

I was shocked and excited, but I knew this was not good news from a medical stand point.   The only thing that could further complicate an already highly complicated pregnancy would be twins.

As I sat in the room waiting on the doctor, the nurse walked in… I see we are having babies!  Yes, I say, but I don’t think this is good thing; not with all the complications I had last time.  She said we will just wait and see what the doctor says.

I continued to wait for the doctor, trying to wrap my head around twins.  I hear a knock on the door followed by a long gasp and “OH wow” and it wasn’t in an excited tone. Got my confirmation, while this was very exciting news, it was not good news.   She walked into the room staring at the ultrasound results.  Well this changes things she said.  Is this worst case scenario I ask, No, but yes she responded; It will make things more challenging than they already would be.  I can no longer make any promises that things will go better this time. Granted a lot can change.  There is a high risk of miscarriage and we don’t know that they will both develop.  I need to see you back next week, and then we will start you with Maternal Fetal (the high risk specialists) as soon as we determined it is a well established pregnancy.

Before we left the room she asked me, “do you have your prenatal vitamins, and Folic Acid remember you need 4 mg, and um… anxiety medicine.”  I can take that pregnant I ask, no, but I may need some she said joking.  As we walked out of the room, the nurse offered her congrats again on the twins.  No, my doctor said almost scolding the nurse.  Realizing she sounded harsh, she quickly changed her tune, okay congrats on being pregnant…we will all get through this together.

As I left the appointment my excitement grew, even in the face of the pending challenges, I was pregnant again and this time there were 2 babies.

I met Chris for lunch.  He had still had no idea of the news I had just learned.  When the moment seemed right I told him… I have good and bad news and it is the same news. He looked at me puzzled.  You know how we decided we would only do this one time, due to the risks even though we really wanted more kids.  Well we are getting more kids, and we only have to do this once.  Its twins!

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Mastering the art of fake drinking

26 Wednesday Sep 2012

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The weekend after finding out we were pregnant we were heading to a party. I didn’t want to miss this get together; it was for some of our friends that had moved ½ way across the world.  They were only in town of brief amount of time.  Plus, it was going to be a lot of fun.

 I am not a heavy drinker typically, but if I drank nothing surly questions would arise.  Questions I was not ready to answer. I was still getting used to the idea.   And, I had not seen the doctor yet.  Go figure, the day I find out I am pregnant her office is closed and would remain closed half the week.  They were moving to a new location.  My first appointment wouldn’t be until the following Tuesday.  I would be 5 weeks which I realize would be a very early appointment for a normal pregnancy, but this one would be anything but normal.

Anyway, back to the party.  I put a lot of thought into what I was going to do.  I could bring a bottle of red wine.  Of course, the bottle would actually contain watered down grape juice, but I am not a big red wine drinker, so that would seem odd especially to my close friends. As much as I tried, I couldn’t figure out how to fake white wine.  As I sat pondering my options, I took a sip of my sparkling water and just like that, the little light bulb in my head went off.  I would get Smirnoff green apple, dump out the bottles and refill them with my raspberry apple sparkling water.  I would only have to fake a couple, after all I was driving.

 

My plan was working great!  Nobody had any idea that I was actually drinking water. At one point, the topic of Chris and I trying again came up in conversation.  I was asked if we would tell people right away or wait the traditional 12 weeks.  Time to test my poke face… I said we weren’t sure.  I told them Chris had once mentioned not telling anyone ever.  Well at least not until we had the baby in our arms.  I joked that is not really going to work.  Guess we will just have to wait and see.  Everyone seemed continent with that answer.  I was then asked if the doctor thought I would have any fertility issues.  I was sure I was going to give it way on this question.  No, I said, trying so hard not to smile.  But again, nobody seemed on to my little secret.

The party was a success!

And baby makes 4

25 Tuesday Sep 2012

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July 30, 2012 – It is official…. I am pregnant.

We got cleared from the doctor and decided we were ready to try again.  Within the past month I must have seen a dozen rainbows which I took as a good sign. Each rainbow reassuring me that we were making the right choice to try for another baby.

I had planned to take a home pregnancy test on Saturday, but I just couldn’t wait, so Friday after work I went ahead and took the test.  It was negative.  Better luck next month.  After all, there is only a 25% chance of getting pregnant even if the timing is right. The weekend came and went.  Monday as I was getting ready for work, something urged me to take another test.  The same negative line popped up rather quickly and as I was getting ready to throw it away I noticed another line starting to form.  I stared at the test as the second line got darker and darker.  I was speechless. I walked to the bed where Chris was still laying and handed him the test.  Not really yet awake, he grumbled for a minute, realized what I handed him and I could tell had the same feelings I did.  He got up, followed me back into the bathroom; he was not saying a word and neither was I.  I was still trying to wrap my head around what I was feeling. This is what I had wanted- what we had both wanted! But, I was nervous, scared, and a little sad that I was not overjoyed like I was with Ansley and at the same time I was happy, very happy, but I wasn’t excited.  I was on the verge of tears and I still can’t tell you if they were good tears or bad tears, when Chris finally said, “Guess we are good at the getting pregnant part”.

I took one more test for good measure and told Chris I would call the doctor and let her know.  I knew she wanted to see me right away.

I drove to work as if it were just another day.  I tried to process the news; I tried to force myself to be excited, but my mind kept racing back to Ansley, my last pregnancy, the only frame of reference I knew.