Category Archives: Ansley

Ansley’s 7th Birthday

21 Wednesday Mar 2018

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I haven’t written much over the past few years. I will try and do better. Today is Ansley’s Birthday. She would have been 7. I try not to spend too much time thinking about who she would have been or what she would like or dislike. Would she be smart? Silly? Sassy? A girly-girly? Those types of thoughts are not productive for me. What is more productive is to make sure she is remembered within our home.

The week before Christmas our beloved Dog Abbey passed away. She was a few weeks shy of her 12th birthday and lived a great life. I was so worried about how the boys would handle losing Abbey; after all, I was a mess. Abbey had been by the boy’s sides from the moment we brought them home from the NICU, but the boys were strangely at peace. When asked if they were really okay, they asked why wouldn’t they be? Ansley gets to have a dog now, and not just any dog, the BEST dog. It was at that moment I knew I was succeeding at keeping her memory alive. The boys know and love the sister they never met.

Our tradition for Ansley’s birthday is to release balloons with handwritten messages on them. It is our equivalent of sending a card to heaven. The boys wanted to send balloons to both Abbey and Ansley this year, and so we did.

(repost) St. Patrick’s day- 2011

17 Tuesday Mar 2015

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It was a Thursday, St. Patrick’s Day, a co-workers birthday, I was getting my annual performance review or at least that is how I thought my day would go.  By lunch time, I was in agonizing pain.  My back hurt, but of course my back hurt I was 6 months pregnant.  That is normal right?
I called my boss and asked if we could do my review now, so I could leave and go to the chiropractor.  I hadn’t been to the chiropractor in years, but this would be my third trip in a week.
She felt around my back, nothing really out of line and mumbled to herself in a frustrated tone,  “I have to figure this out, if only I could x ray you. But I can’t, your pregnant, all the more reason to figure this out… pain is bad for you or baby, it will raise your blood pressure.”
As I laid face down on her table, I was unsure if she was speaking to me or to herself, but her words echoed in my head.  I went home; dug out an old home blood pressure machine I had gotten after my dad’s stroke many years before, hunted down some fresh batteries and checked my blood pressure for myself.  130/70- completely normal.  About the same as it had been when I was at the doctor the week before.  The same light hearted doctor’s appointment where I was told I was having a picture perfect pregnancy.