Monthly Archives: October 2012

Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day

14 Sunday Oct 2012

Posted by in Grief, Stillbirth

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Many people know October as Brest Cancer awareness month, but it is also pregnancy an infant loss awareness month.  In 1988, President Ronald Reagan designated October as the month to bring awareness to infant deaths, including miscarriage, ectopic pregnancy, stillbirth, and SIDs or any neonatal death.

“A wife who loses a husband is called a widow. A husband who loses a wife is called a widower.  A child who loses his parents is called an orphan. There is no word for a parent who loses a child. That is how awful the loss is.” – Jay Neugeboren

Because there is no word in the English language to describe this type of loss, it often silences those grieving.

October 15 is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day.  It is observed in the US, Canada, the UK and New South Wales.  The day is observed with an International Wave of Light.  To participate light a candle at 7 PM in your time zone and leave it burning for one hour.  This will create a continuous wave of light around the world. I will be lighting my candle in honor and memory of my daughter Ansley as well as all babies that have died during pregnancy, at or during birth, or after birth.  Will you join me in remembering babies gone too soon?

“An Angel in the book of life wrote down my baby’s birth. And whispered as she closed the book – Too Beautiful for Earth.”

 

 

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Reality Check

08 Monday Oct 2012

Posted by in RAINBOW BABY, Stillbirth

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When I first learned that I was expecting twins, I reached out to my HELLP Syndrome message boards to see if anyone else had gone on to have a successful subsequent twin pregnancy following class 1 HELLP.   I was told about a lady in the UK, we will call her Ann, that was a member of another board and was currently in her second trimester with twins.

I reached out to Ann and introduced myself.  I soon discovered we had very similar histories; both of us losing our daughters early in the third trimester when class 1 HELLP stuck suddenly.  She was advised much like me to wait at least a year to try again and had many of the same tests done looking for anything that gives a clue as to why this happened.

At exactly the one year mark, Ann and her husband decided to try again.  Surprise… they were expecting twins.  While she felt comfortable with her doctors, she also was working with a doctor at a major research university in the US.  And, while the doctors didn’t always agree on her course of care, she was being monitored very closely. She was actually being watched closer than I am.  She was having blood work done weekly and in office BP checks twice a week.

I received an email from Ann this morning.  She wanted to let me know at 25 weeks she developed HELLP again.  And, again they quickly deemed her life was in grave danger and made the decision to deliver the twins.  Neither twin survived.

My heart goes out to Ann, she has no living children, but now 3 babies in heaven.  I cannot fathom going through that kind of loss again.  It is a scary reality.  Ann was the only one I could find in more than 17 countries (that is active on these boards) that was also expecting twins.  I know that just because her story ended in another loss, it doesn’t mean mine will as well, but I was really hopeful she would have a successful pregnancy and that I could use that as inspiration.  But instead, her story now reiterates the trepidation that I have already been feeling.