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Category Archives: NICU

Babies Firsts

15 Sunday Sep 2013

Posted by amomentinmarch in NICU, TWINS, Uncategorized

≈ 2 Comments

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baby's first, NICU

A lot happened during our 2 month stay in the NICU. There were happy moments and scary moments, times of frustration and times of rejoice.

In addition to seeing my boys for the first time and holding them for the first time. These are some of my other favorite firsts.

First time seeing Landon's face.

First time seeing Landon’s face.

First time seeing Nolan"s face.

First time seeing Nolan”s face.

First time holding hands.

First time holding hands.

First time holding both babies at the same time.

First time holding both babies at the same time.

Landon's first bath (given by mommy).

Landon’s first bath (given by mommy).

The boys first time sharing a room!

The boys first time sharing a room!

First tornado!  Moving all the babies into a secure hallway was a big ordeal.

First tornado! Moving all the babies into a secure hallway was a big ordeal.

Of course there were many other firsts that took place during the boys stay in the NICU, most of which we don’t have pictures of.

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NEC

18 Sunday Aug 2013

Posted by amomentinmarch in NICU, TWINS

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

NEC, Necrotizing Enterocolitis, NICU, TWINS

We were settling into life with babies in the NICU. Chris had taken a week off of work after the babies were born to spend time with them and also to help me. As it turns out a c-section is a bigger recovery than I had anticipated. I am not sure why I didn’t think it would be a big deal; after all it is a major surgery. Even recovering, I spent most of my time in the NICU minus the one day I was running a mild fever. If you want to torture a new mother, first tell her she can’t hold her babies, and then tell her she can’t see them for 24 hours.

First time holding Landon

First time holding Landon

Day 8 will go down as one of the best days of my life. It was the first time I was able to hold one of my babies, Landon. Eight long days had passed of only being able to look at them and reach in a small hole in the incubator and gently touch them. Eight days of hearing them cry and being unable to comfort them. On day eight we were able to start Kangaroo care.

Once a day, for one hour, Chris or I could hold a diaper clad baby against our bare chest. Kangaroo care allowed for bonding time, but also had many other benefits. For me, it helped my milk production. For the babies it helped them regulate body temperature, heart rate and respiratory rates. It allowed us to get to know one another in a way not possible with them confined to the incubator.

Chris Holding Nolan

Chris Holding Nolan

On day 9 Chris got to hold Nolan for the first time. As much as I wanted to hold him, I had to allow dad his time too. So it was day 10 that I was able to hold Nolan for the first time. There are no words to describe the feeling. The babies were so small it was intimidating for a split second, but that feeling was quickly overcome with so much joy.

First time I held Nolan

First time I held Nolan

We had developed our schedule. Chris would go to the NICU in the morning and visit with the boys, I would come around lunch time and Chris would meet me there after work. The doctors would do their rounds between 9 and 10 am. Chris would wait to head to work until after the morning updates. On day 11, I didn’t get my normal update phone call from Chris. I assumed rounds were taking longer, maybe they got a new baby in the NICU, maybe Chris got caught in conversation. It never crossed my mind that something might be wrong. I don’t know why, after all, just the weekend before we had met with the doctor and he advised that the “honeymoon phase” was ending and they boys were at high risk of infection. He advised we not have lots of visitors for awhile and take extra precautions. Even with that conversation fresh on my mind, I couldn’t fathom one of the babies getting sick. But, I heard it in Chris’ voice when I called to see how the babies were doing.

His voice was somber, he barely sounded like my husband. He told me Nolan was not doing well. He had an infection called NEC or . I had heard of this. This infection was one reason they were so firm about the boys getting breast milk rather than formula. Chris said they were running lots of tests and starting antibiotics, we would know more later in the day, but they felt they were ahead of it. I jumped online to read everything I could about the condition; It is a gastrointestinal disease….typically effecting preemies in the first 2 weeks of life…may require surgery… survival rates of 70-80%. That mean20-30% don’t survive.

I couldn’t bear the thought of losing another baby. I prayed like I have never prayed before as I drove to the hospital. As I entered the NICU there was a lot of activity all centered around Nolan. Chris was sitting in his room, trying to be present yet out of the way. The PA addressed me as soon as I arrived. She told me they felt they were still ahead of it, they had just run another blood gas and done another series of x-rays. They were monitoring him closely. They were not yet sure if he would stay in the NICU there or get transferred to Children’s. They felt he was starting to work harder than he needed to on breathing and warned us not to be surprised if they ventilated him. They wanted all his strength going towards beating the infection. The crowd had cleared out of Nolan’s room and for the first time that day I got a good look at him. He looked sick. His skin was a grayish hue that hope to never see again.

I soon learned that it was Nolan’s night nurse that first suspected something was off. She had cared for Nolan every night she had worked since he was born. She knew his coloring and his activity level; she knew all things normal to Nolan. And, she knew when things weren’t normal. I give her a lot of credit; we may not have ‘gotten ahead of the infection’ had it not been for her. I always preferred when the boys had the regular nurses. They would occasionally have on call or traveling nurses in the NICU. Some of them I liked, some of them I didn’t. Go figure today Nolan would have one of the on call nurses that I didn’t care for. I felt she would say things to Chris and I trying to invoke an emotional response. We were both in survival mode, collecting information, staying strong and focused; we could be emotional later.

Just when I had had about enough of the nurse, my favorite day nurse stopped by to check in on Nolan. She placed her hand on my back and told me she has stood in my shoes. Her daughter had NEC and her twins ended up in different hospitals. It doesn’t make things easier, but then again none of this is easy. If we end up with two babies in two different hospitals 35 miles apart, it is just another challenge that we will be able to overcome. That was the message I needed to hear.

We spent the rest of the day and ½ of the night sitting with Nolan. They had stopped feeding him, in fact they were suctioning all stomach excretions out of him. So, all we were able to do was a quick diaper change every few hours. Before we finally left for the night they made sure they had both of our phone numbers on the top of the chart. They also wanted to know where we lived and how quickly we could get back to the hospital if need be. It was a very unsettling feeling leaving the hospital.

NEC

NEC

We had planned to return first thing in the morning, but before we could get out of the house we got a call from the NICU. They had put Nolan on a ventilator overnight and also added another PIC line through his scalp. They just wanted to call and tell us because it can be shocking and a scary sight if you were not anticipating it. They also had to shave a small part of his head, but saved me his pretty blonde hair. His first hair cut.
Luckily he never got any worse, the NICU staff had caught it early and the medication worked. He got to stay in the same hospital as his brother, and he wasn’t going to require any surgery.

My heart still breaks to think about him on the ventilator. Imagine a baby trying to cry, but no sound comes out. You can tell they are in pain and you can’t do anything to comfort them. They mostly kept him sedated. Four days and one partially collapsed lung later, he was taken off the ventilator, but it would be another 6 day before he could try to eat again.

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The Boys Birth Story (Part 2)

19 Friday Jul 2013

Posted by amomentinmarch in NICU, RAINBOW BABY, TWINS, Uncategorized

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

Birth Story, c-section, NICU, Preemie, TWINS

It's time!

It’s time!


It is amazing how quickly everything happened once they decided Feb. 1st would be the boys’ birthday. My call with Chris was not very long. The whole conversation consisted of “Just got off the phone with Dr. K and I am having the babies today.” And, just like that he was in route to the hospital. By the time I hung up, I had 2 nurses in my room. A hospital gown, hair net and socks were laid out on the foot of the bed, and they were gathering supplies to put an IV in my arm. For a few minutes everything felt very rushed. I hadn’t really had time to digest the news. When you go into labor you have hours not minutes before the babies arrive.

Chris made it to the hospital in record time and we called our parents to let them know. I could tell Chris was nervous and honestly so was I. I was, after all, only 30 weeks and few days along. But, I also had a strange fleeting moment of feeling nostalgic. This would be the last day I would EVER be pregnant. This was the last time the boys would be 100% dependant on me and only me to provide for them. As hard as my pregnancy was, a big part of me enjoyed my pregnancy.

Soon my doctor arrived in my room. She reassured both Chris and I that at the boy’s gestational age they would do just fine. She was excited because I had made it so much longer than she originally thought and because we were all about to meet the little guys. She was dressed like she was heading out to dinner not to an operating room, so she gave us both a hug and went to change clothes and get scrubbed in.

As soon as she left, the nurses were back in my room. They grabbed the cord blood collection kit to be sure it wasn’t forgotten about in all the excitement. They gave Chris coveralls, shoe covers and a hairnet and explained they were going to take me down now and they would be back soon for him. He couldn’t be in the room while I got my spinal, but would be there in plenty of time for the birth.
As I entered the operating room, it was cold, brightly lit and, it was bustling; lots of people making sure everything was ready and in place. I was expecting a lot of people, but thre must have been 20 people in the room. Seeing so many in and out of the delivery room made me nervous and reassured at the same time.

This was it, it wouldn’t be long now.

They had me sit on a hard table. The nurse anesthetist introduced himself and told me he would be right by my side the whole time. He was very calm and reassuring in the mist of all the chaos. The anesthesiologist came over and introduced herself and told me it was time to get started. She told me I would feel pressure in my back. She was right, that was a good way to describe it. I took one final look around the room before lying back on the table. There were 2 incubators now fully surrounded by doctors and nurses. All the surgical tools were spread out on a table. There were still many other nurses and respiratory specialists walking about the room. I laid back and they hung the curtain; for a brief moment I panicked. The curtain was so close to my face and I am claustrophobic. The nurse anesthetist, seeming inside my head, noticed and before I could react asked that they reposition it. I looked to my left as they were walking Chris into the room.

Before they begin they test the spinal. They rubbed a cold wet cloth on my arm. Then they rubbed the same cloth on my stomach. I feel the pressure but not the cold or wet. I took a deep breath and tried to relax, but in my head I knew there were so many unknowns.

Soon, I felt an odd sensation, it didn’t hurt, but I felt it. I could feel myself laying so still, intently listening to everything, waiting for some indication that the babies were okay. I began to get nauseous and immediately was given something to remedy that. I was also given something to make me relax. I heard the doctor say the amniotic fluid was clear. I assumed that was a good thing. She asked Chris if he was ready to stand up and take a look.

I watched him as he stood up, he just stared. “Take a picture”, I told him. He raised the camera and snapped away as I heard the doctor say he is out and he is a good size. Chris began looking a little pale so the nurse anesthetist advised he sit back down. I realized I was holding my breath. I had not yet heard the baby cry. Then I heard it, it was soft and distant, but still music to my ears and for a moment I could breathe.

Before the doctor moved on to baby B, she collected Landon’s cord blood and cord tissues. She didn’t think she was going to be able to get enough cord blood, but collected all she could. Viacord could let us know for sure, but these are preemies with cord blood flow issues.

Soon we were on to Baby B, my problem child, the reason we were in the delivery room. But, baby B, aka Nolan, was also my feisty baby. Again, I felt myself holding my breath as she confirmed the fluid was clear and there was plenty of it. Chris stood once again and snapped a few pictures. I heard the doctor say, “he is smaller, but not as much as I worried he would be.” Nolan didn’t make me wait as long to hear his cry. His was a bit louder as if he knew I needed reassured that was going to be okay.

Before I knew it, Landon had been taken down to the NICU, I never even got to see him. Chris was giving me a play by play of what he could see. I knew he needed to be in NICU quickly, but was sad I didn’t get to see him first. The nurse anesthetist was going to be sure that didn’t happen again. “Hey guys, over here, mom did a lot of work, she should get to see the baby,” he said as they were getting ready to head out with Nolan. They rolled his incubator over by me and one of the nurses lifted him up so I could see him. He was crying. All I could really see was a big mouth on a very small baby.

With a normal pregnancy and normal c-section the doctor would hold the baby up, get it slightly cleaned off and passed immediately to mom or dad. When they are tiny there is no holding them up and once they go to the NICU, hours pass before mom can visit. After all, the spinal has to wear off before you can feel you legs, and then they won’t let you sit up for another couple of hours. The nurses told me it was common for women not to head to the NICU for 12-18 hours after delivery.

I had never really thought about it until a couple of weeks before the babies were born. A friend of mine told me about her experience with a c-section and her babies going straight to the NICU. The whole way through my pregnancy I had known exactly what to expect, but this little detail caught me off guard. I was crushed at the idea of others seeing my babies before me. I did all the work.

When we got back to my hospital room, my parents were waiting for me. They wanted to make sure I did okay in surgery and my mom began helping pack up the room. It is amazing how much you can accumulate in a short time. My doctor stopped by and told me she went to the NICU before coming to see me to make sure all was well. “They are doing really good and they are bigger than I thought” she told us. Landon was the bigger baby around 3 lbs and Nolan was closer to 2 ½ lbs. She also told the nurses to keep me in my room, the room that had become home atleast until the following day. Standard procedure would be to move me within a few hours to the mom and baby ward. After my doctor left, so did my parents; they all agreed I should try and get some rest.

About an hour or two later my mother-in-law came to visit. By this time, the spinal was wearing off and I was beginning to feel my legs again. Before, I was in too much pain the nurse brought a pain pump in and I discovered morphine really makes me itch. To counter the itchiness, I was given Benadryl. To say I was out of it would be a huge understatement, pain meds and benadryl! My mother in law left for a little while to pick up some dinner for her and Chris, I was so tired and nauseas there was zero chance of me eating anything. Even though I wasn’t eating I do wish they had picked something other than shrimp fajitas, the smell and the nausea didn’t mix well. While they were eating my older brother stopped by the hospital to visit. It was a nice distraction from the nausea.

One of the nurses stopped in as she was leaving for the night to let me know she had stopped by the NICU and the boys were doing well. During the conversation, she realized Chris had yet to go to the NICU. He had stayed with me so we could visit them together for the first time. The nurse offered to take him down there and my brother and mother in law asked if they could join. I reluctantly said yes. I am not sure if it was because I was just so tired or not feeling well, but I didn’t stand my ground. I would now be the fourth person in the family to see my babies. I thought it would be a quick visit, but it was not. Over an hour past, then 30 minutes more; I laid in my bed and began to cry, mostly out of jealousy that I couldn’t be down there too.

When everyone got back in my room after the visit to the NICU they were talking about how little but handsome the boys were. I heard about how much hair they had and before anyone could say another word, I snapped. “I don’t want to hear about it, I don’t want anyone telling me about my babies, I just want to see them.” By this time it was after midnight, so my brother and mother in law headed home. The night nurse recommended I get some sleep, but I was not going to sleep until I saw my boys. So, nine hours after I delivered them, the nurses loaded me into a wheelchair and we headed for the NICU.

IMG_0010

The boys were in 2 separate rooms; really the rooms were more of open divided bays. Both were in their Giraffe incubators, each with their very own nurse. We headed to Landon’s room first. They lowered the incubator as far as it would go. It was hard to see what he looked liked, but one thing was for sure, he was tiny. I needed a better look, so I attempted to stand up. As soon as I stood up, I began to shake and got very light-headed. The NICU nurse recommended I sit back down; after all, she works on babies less than 5 lbs not adults. I took her recommendation and slowly sat back down, but first I studied every detail of Landon. I couldn’t see his face because of the CPAP machine helping him breath. He was so little and thin that he didn’t even fill out his skin, but at the same time, he was perfect. He did have a lot of hair considering he was born about 10 weeks early.

IMG_0005

Next we headed over to Nolan’s room. Once again, I needed a better look. I stood up, but only for a minute. I only thought Landon was small, until I saw Nolan. Nolan put small into a whole new perspective. His face was also hidden behind the CPAP machine, and he also had a surprising amount of very blond hair.

It was surreal seeing my babies for the first time. Even without seeing their face, they were the most beautiful sight, wires and all. My night was complete. Our family had grown by two. I could now get some rest.

Landon

Landon

Nolan

Nolan

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