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On Christmas Eve, I got the news that baby B was so stable I would only need ultrasounds on Mon, Wed, and Fri. That was some of the most reassuring news I had gotten since I arrived in the hospital 17 days ago. While the doctors are confident at some point the condition would get worse, they didn’t feel it was going to happen real soon.

To my surprise and ultrasound tech stopped my room earlier today. For a moment I was questioning what day it was. It is easy to loose track in here. But, then I recalled I did in fact have an ultrasound yesterday and it is Saturday. I told her I was surprised to see her and asked had the orders changed? She said officially, no, but she had to come up here to scan another lady and was told to scan me while she was here.

I am a firm believer that things don’t just happen by chance, and that everything happens for a reason.

Every ultrasound makes me nervous. In the back of mind I am always wondering is this going to be the one. The bad reading. The one that determines if I have to deliver the babies. She began the scan- heart rates look good, fluid levels look good, they are very active, all good signs and consistent with all my other scans. Then she asks, ” I thought baby B was the one with absent flow, I must have mis-read your chart.” I confirmed baby B is the one that has been absent. She scans over to baby B, then back to baby A, back to B and back to A once more. While she was scanning, the only thing she said was hmm.

Hmmm, really, not the reassuring comment I was looking for. She finished the scan and told me that it seems both babies now have absent flow. I asked if baby A’s was intermittent or completely absent because yesterday it was normal? To me it seems like a big jump to go from normal to absent bypassing the intermittent phase. But, she confirmed it is completely absent. Both babies scanned exactly the same.

So, now I sit and wait for both the specialist and my doctor to come see me later today and give me their thoughts on the new situation. I know it doesn’t mean delivery, at least not today. Neither baby showed any sign of reversing or any signs of distress. But, I can’t help but feel a bit uneasy. I really need them to hang on for 2 more weeks so I reach the 28 week mark.

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