Almost a week had past, most of which was a blur.  The nurse came into my room and told me that I was doing better than they had anticipated and I may get to go home a day or two early.  My platelet count had climbed by about 100,000, and although I was not 100%, I was well out of the woods.

This sounds like it would be great news!  After all, nobody wants to be in the hospital.  But, I immediately had mixed feelings about leaving.

Later that afternoon, it was official, I was going home.  I changed out of my hospital gown into normal clothes.  Chris and I began to pack up the room we had called home for the last week.  I was sent so many lovely flowers and cards.  About half way through packing up, I got very emotional.  Leaving was about to be a cruel reality.

I would not be leaving the hospital with a baby in my arms. I would not be arriving home to “It’s a Girl” balloons tied to the mailbox. All the plans we had made, now just memories of a happier time.

A tech arrived with the wheel chair to take me to the car.  As I sat down, my eyes fixed on the bassinet that Ansley spent her day in.  It was now empty. On the way out, I noticed the sad rain cloud on my door.  I deemed it was fitting for how I felt.  None should ever have to leave labor and delivery without a baby.  I was empty; arms and all.

As we got outside, I couldn’t help but notice what a beautiful day it was.  The cherry trees were in full bloom, the tulips danced in the cool spring breeze.  It would have been a great day to introduce Ansley to the world.

 

Advertisements