Almost a week had past, most of which was a blur. The nurse came into my room and told me that I was doing better than they had anticipated and I may get to go home a day or two early. My platelet count had climbed by about 100,000, and although I was not 100%, I was well out of the woods.
This sounds like it would be great news! After all, nobody wants to be in the hospital. But, I immediately had mixed feelings about leaving.
Later that afternoon, it was official, I was going home. I changed out of my hospital gown into normal clothes. Chris and I began to pack up the room we had called home for the last week. I was sent so many lovely flowers and cards. About half way through packing up, I got very emotional. Leaving was about to be a cruel reality.
I would not be leaving the hospital with a baby in my arms. I would not be arriving home to “It’s a Girl” balloons tied to the mailbox. All the plans we had made, now just memories of a happier time.
A tech arrived with the wheel chair to take me to the car. As I sat down, my eyes fixed on the bassinet that Ansley spent her day in. It was now empty. On the way out, I noticed the sad rain cloud on my door. I deemed it was fitting for how I felt. None should ever have to leave labor and delivery without a baby. I was empty; arms and all.
As we got outside, I couldn’t help but notice what a beautiful day it was. The cherry trees were in full bloom, the tulips danced in the cool spring breeze. It would have been a great day to introduce Ansley to the world.